dates

Saturday.

I had a faux-romanticized idea of what my date with Ann would be like: dinner, dancing, a movie, charming repartee and, if I was lucky, a light peck on the cheek at the end – a sign of better things to come.  I continued to have Ann pegged as a nice, normal, high school girl because up until then that was my experience of high school girls.  So I was not at all prepared for our first evening.  

We went to Zino’s, the upscale pizza joint on Little Vine, with the intention of going to a movie afterwards.  But half an hour later we were in the back parking lot literally steaming up the windows.  

The steam, in and of itself, impressed me.  Outside the car it was the middle of freezing winter.  But inside, even with the engine turned off, we were a living biochemistry experiment, generating actual heat.  Hey, condensation happens!  Here was this beautiful girl all over me and I was marveling at the science of it.  But then I let go and was in nirvana.  A rock star.  In just a few months I had transformed from dweeb loser to übermensch and the living proof was pressed up right next to me.  

Continue reading

the navy

Navy4

My opening bit Sunday night:

Roger Navy 4-0-9er.  You sit facing a TV screen – but it is unlike any TV screen you’ve seen before.  For one thing there are no commercials and a sweeping white band circles the screen every five seconds.  Bogie’s bearing 5-4-9 50 miles!  Suddenly, you realize it’s not just a simulation – you’re under actual enemy attack!  

I flailed around the stage, evoking young cadets smoking joints and then suddenly getting blown apart by bombs and heavy artillery.  I made shooting and exploding sound effects.  

The Navy.  It’s not just a job – it’s a life or death struggle for survival.

Continue reading